Sunday, April 17, 2011

My First Year of University Through My Facebook Status Updates

YUP, ladies and gentlemen, it is that time of the year again. You know the drill.
Don't know?
Don't worry.
Catch up: 

Without farther ado.
(This is tradition. I cannot break traditions--gasp! you say I should?--you know, you don't look good talking all sacrilegious).

september 2010: 
 Fri September 3, 2010, 2:16 am: My parents have made a conscious decision to not live in the Dark Ages anymore: I finally (FINALLY!) have a cellphone. COMMENT-ON-THIS-STATUS/FB-INBOX/EMAIL/TWEET/COMMENT-ON-MY-BLOG/TEXT-ME-AT-778-385-6446 if you feel I should have yo' numbah!

Sat September 4, 2010, 9:37 pm: Hello, and welcome to the premiere of Urooba Jamal's First Status Update From Her Cellular Device. Critics have responded with such bigotry as '..pointless..' and ' need for it', but please, still, enjoy the show.

Sun September 5, 2010, 3:21 am: Hates both extremities when it comes to snot: the runny, sloppy, makes-your-eyes-water beginning stage and the crusty, rough, makes-your-nose-hurt-painfully terminating stage.

Mon September 6, 2010, 3:25 am: Is practicing my post-secondary swagger. This is a univers(ity)ally known fact.

Mon September 6, 2010, 11:25 pm: Insha'allah tomorrow is a heap of firsts in the Jamal household: Hamza Jamal's first day of "senior" year (grade 7), Hiba Jamal's first day of highschool, Rida Jamal's first day of senior year (highschool)...and MOST importantly (!!!) my first day of university! HUZZAH.

Thu September 9, 2010, 9:31 pm: The best thing about university is spontaniety: there's no such thing as a monotonous lifestyle anymore! 

Sat September 11, 2010, 10:02 pm: Getting "all dolled up" for a ladies Eid party--OH MY GOODNESS, how do girls do their hair EVERYday?!

Sun September 12, 2010, 11:48 pm: There's nothing like eating out and quelling your appetite with some garam larke--I mean, errrr, chicken tikka with some garam masala. ~;)

Tue September 14, 2010, 11:31 pm: enjoys thinking. "I think, therefore I am." (René Descartes) Also enjoys quoting dead french guys. Also enjoys applying stuff she's learnt in lectures to real-life situations (i.e. facebook status updates). Also enjoys sitting in the very front of the lecture hall, like an Eager McBeaver.

Sat September 18, 2010, 9:23 pm: Highlight of my week? Discovering that UBC's rec centre sells a t-shirt that says "Friends don't let friends go to SFU". I DIDN'T DO MY JOB PROPERLY! Ruby Gill and Naveen A. Arain are proof as to why! However, I did step into said 'enemy territory' this wednesday...

Tue September 21, 2010, 10:25 pm: "What will you do with your one wild and precious life?" -Mary Oliver

Sat September 25, 2010, 7:52 pm: :O Margaret Atwood taught freshman English at UBC in 1965! Times like this, I wish I had been born in 1947 (albeit this is the only time I have ever desired to be born during an epoch that included WW2).

Wed September 29, 2010, 12:38 am: The lovely thing about going to school with 40,000 other homo sapiens is that one experiences mildly-astonishing revelations on a near daily basis. [Exhibit A]-- exotic dude: "I've lived all over the world...I want to be a fisherman." Me: "So you're one of 'em nomads, eh? And hehehe, you're not serious, right? What're you doing in university then? hehehe." e-dude: "I want to be an educated fisherman."

october 2010: *updates will now be in chronological order...but backwards-ly. I got too lethargic.
 Sat October 30, 2010, 12:17 am: Tomo iA I get to talk about myself for 20 min. in front of 40+ people! ALL MY EGOTISTICAL DREAMS ARE COMING TRUE. :D Where at, you ask? Why, none other than at MYCanada Workshop II, of course! Come enjoy some snazzy dialogue with some snazzy people! And PSA Halwa Puri Brunch right after! DOUBLE WHAMMY.

Thu October 28, 2010, 12:38 am: Analyzing Shakespeare, yo. I'll SPEARE you the details, but will say it's got me SHAKE-ing my head.

Sun October 24, 2010, 8:54 pm: As a NEW, mature, sophisticated and labyrinthine 18-year-old I have very maturely and sophisticatedly decided I would like to have more birthdays. Why? Because studies show that the more you have, the longer you'll live. Well I'll be! [thanks for the greetings, yo! As an advocate for personalized fb birthday greetings, I can confidently say these ones are the ICING ON THE CAKE <3.]

Sat October 23, 2010, 8:02 pm: Woo! Just got back from MYCanada Vancouver 's first workshop! *You* weren't there? Dang! Talk 'bout MISSING OUT: great discussions, great speakers, great people, great food. Check, check, check, and check! *HALAL SALUTE* :D

Thu October 21, 2010, 11:03 pm: AP Calc wasn't applicable to daily life. These equations are: university life ≠ monotony! Me = :)!

Sat October 16, 2010, 7:33 pm: "You took her on a date to Denny's!?...what were you thinking!? *She can't help but admire my frugality?* Hubba hubba! Sexy Roger!" --The Gum Thief, Douglas Coupland

Thu October 14, 2010, 10:53 pm: HEY FACEBOOK FRIENDS, I'll let you make a decision for me, one that will only alter the course of my life, so it's not that big of a deal; whatevs. What do you see me in? Law, would I find it APPEALing (hehe!), or is business my forte? LAW OR BUSINESS?! TELL ME NAO. (p.s. I'll do journalism, regardless!)

Wed October 13, 2010, 10:20 pm: Slowly, but surely, I am transitioning from my urooba_flowergirl email to my urooba.j email. OH MAH GAWD, I AM A CHANGING WOMAN. I AM BECOMING A LADY, ONE FULL OF OPTIMAL LEVELS OF SOPHISTICATION.

Mon October 11, 2010, 8:38 pm: "You can't do much with a B.A." Ahhh, can't wait to challenge this notion i'A.

Thu October 7, 2010, 10:22 pm: is my best friend. <3

Wed October 6, 2010, 12:08 am: It is with a great scholarly demeanor and my background credentials consisting of a Phd. doctorate (pertaining to what subject matter is not of any relevance), I conclude: PR-Oh-crap!-inators NEVER LEARN. D:

Sun October 3, 2010, 4:21 pm: I like it in the crevices of my bed, namely, the 'no man's land' of the space between the frame and mattress.

Sat October 2, 2010, 1:37 pm: My first task for The Ubyssey 's investigative journalism team? Rrite a really; really bad esay that ist'nt ritten very goodly. My approach? Get my good 'ol ENGINEERING buddy to do it--haha!

 november 2010:
 Tue November 30, 2010, 12:16 am: You know you're desi when your father questions you when you DO put on your seatbelt.

Sat November 27, 2010, 10:57 pm: I'm currently in a warm-fuzzy-blanket-fort-hot-chocolate-sipping-watching-an-intriguing-movie-that-is-actually-directly-proportional-to-the-topic-of-my-psychology-paper-so-I-don't-feel-guilty-at-the-prospect-of-being-entertained-around-finals-time-albeit-the-movie-"side-kick-ly"-stars-a-man-of-great-aesthetic-appeal-a.k.a.-Mark-Ruffalo sort of a state.

Mon November 22, 2010, 5:49 pm: WOAH. FELLOW UBC'ERS, did you know that UBC Bookstore will have 120 MORE course material rentals for January!? This means 55% in savings! Crazy!

Sat November 20, 2010, 8:12 pm: "I'm too school for cool." FINALLY. RELEVANT POP SONG LYRICS, oh yes. (Although, I can kinda relate to "Hit me baby one more time"...)

Fri November 19, 2010, 6:23 pm: Getting a seat on the 480 bus makes me feel like I've won the lottery. And the 311 bus is just straight up <3, man. Relative <3, that is. | This is an excerpt from my next book called "Woes of a Commuter Student Looking to Become an Ex One."

Thu November 18, 2010, 8:34 pm: "So, like, if a guy smokes, it cancels out all of his good qualities--rather, CANCERS out all his good qualities." --Too True Truism #9385 established by yours truly with the enlisted assistance of Kanwal Rashid ;)

Sun November 14, 2010, 6:33 pm: OH MY LANTA! I AM SO EXCITED FOR TOMORROW iA! I have a psych midterm that's worth 9% of my grade!!! :D But unfortunately, I have to go to Value Village's 50% off sale, sigh. D': | OKAY HOLD UP. Something's wrong with this status, but I cannot pinpoint WHAT exactly...

Thu November 11, 2010, 3:49 pm: Is spending the day at Starbucks. Rather, StarAWSHUCKS, gotta get 83247938374564 things done! #busyuniversitykid (WHOA. Hashtags!? On facebook!? what a twitter-y thing of me to do).

Sun November 7, 2010, 6:02 pm: :D “Since when did the passion for education become iconic of geeks/nerds? People in impoverished areas dream of having the same right to education that we enjoy so freely (and carelessly). And I honestly don't think I'd see those people dressed in thick round glasses with pants above their waist, hugging onto their textbooks.” --Arfa (via BoogieMonsterMan)

Tue November 2, 2010, 10:14 pm: Man oh man, just glimpsed at myself in the mirror, and I see that I put the STUD in STUDying. Also, the MOST in MOdeST.

december 2010: Thu December 30, 2010, 12:28 am: "Your eyelashes will write on my heart the poem that could never come from the pen of a poet." ~ Hazrat Mevlana Jalaluddin Rumi a.k.a. Rumi }this sounds SO BEAUTIFUL. <3

Tue December 28, 2010, 11:13 pm: My closet is now 90% thrifted and/or vintage. Yesss! This was #13 on my Twenty Things to do Before I Turn 20 list. Next up, memorize everything Sheldon says on The Big Bang Theory and dispel these musings at random intervals during social settings to make others feel inferior.

Mon December 20, 2010, 12:32 am: Lil bro: you have an exam tomorrow?! But you haven't even studied! Me: lil googloo moogloo, I've studied periodically throughout the week. Lil bro: but it's the night before! Isn't this when you're supposed to cram it in? Sis: look at the example you've set. Ayeyey.

Sat December 18, 2010, 2:46 am: Will ruin childhood dreams here: Disney films are FULL of patriarchal notions. e.g.: "But they dote and swoon and fawn/On a lady that’s withdrawn/It’s she who holds her tongue who gets her man!" *gags* Ew, Disney.

Tue December 14, 2010, 12:20 am: So it's determined: if our careers don't go as planned, me and Naveen A. Arain are so starting a stand-up comedy duo and calling ourselves 'The Humorous Hijabis'. As such, we'll probably have modest beginnings. heh.

Sun December 12, 2010, 11:43 pm: 21st.-Century-First-World-Truism: "If a tree falls in the forest but you don't hear about it on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube or MySpace, did it really happen?" lolol.

Sat December 11, 2010, 9:12 pm: My sartorial choices in the past coupla months have wrongly and unjustly strayed towards 'very normal'. *winces* A quick and exhilaration-inducing fix? Buying shiny, gold metallic DISCO PANTS! <3 Credits to Joshua Weiss for reminding me that not all mass-produced, franchised mall chainstores carry 'blegh'. :D

Thu December 9, 2010, 11:04 pm: Ouf, the powers of sarcasm! [In response to]: "A strong and bitter book-sickness floods one's soul. How ignominious to be strapped to this ponderous mass of paper, print and dead man's sentiment. Would it not be better, finer, braver to leave the rubbish where it lies and walk out into the world a free untrammelled illiterate Superman?" -Solomon Eagle

Mon December 6, 2010, 8:43 pm: Haven't *thought* as much/critically/deeply/profoundly as I have in the past 3 months. Thank you university.

Sat December 4, 2010, 11:34 pm: "I keep six honest serving men (they taught me all I knew); their names are What and Why and When and How and Where and Who." --Rudyard Kipling, The Elephant's Child

Fri December 3, 2010, 1:59 pm: "The first rule of fashion is that you have to look weird" --Zooey Deschanel | OH YEAH, preach it, girly-whirly!

january 2011:  Sat January 29, 2011, 12:22 am: As one 17-year-old boy from Alexandria, Egypt, wrote on his Facebook wall before the shutdown, “A government that is afraid of Facebook and Twitter should govern a city in Farmville.” >>Ding, ding, ding! (via Shazia Kamal who got it from Roqaya Ashmawey)

Sun January 23, 2011, 7:45 pm: I love both academia and macadamia [nut cookies]. One you can cook[ies], the other possesses potential to make you nuts.

Fri January 21, 2011, 1:36 am: [paraphrased] "Maybe she feels like a superhero with that scarf dangling from her neck."♥! -- Boonaa Mohammed at Islam Awareness Week 2011's arts showcase event, I-slam: Expressed. Pardon my lack of eloquence, but TONIGHT WAS SO AWESOMELY RADICAL!

Mon January 17, 2011, 11:39 pm: !الحمد لله

Sat January 8, 2011, 10:58 pm: *taps shoulder* "Hi, are you Urooba from Under Urooba's Umbrella?" THIS PHENOMENON ACTUALLY OCCURRED TODAY.

Wed January 5, 2011, 5:52 pm: Writing for/in/a part of 9 different publications/newsletters/papers/classes/teams/mediums. Clearly, I'm doing all the write stuff. #prolificpassion

Sat January 1, 2011, 12:00 am: Yeah, I just lived through my first full decade, no big deal. And a little wisdom for a new one: “A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.”

 february 2011:

Mon February 14, 2011, 9:46 pm: If I was sent a <3 letter, I'd probably be scanning it for improper syntax, spelling errors and deviations from conventionally correct grammar. #vday #iamgeekhearmeroar

 Fri February 11, 2011, 2:00 pm: Uninstalling dictator: 100% complete ███████████████████████████ #Jan25 #Egypt #AW.FLIP.YES. #JummaMubarak!

Wed February 9, 2011, 9:36 pm: Writing a paper on fashion blogs. Never have I had such large, great thrills running through me whilst looking for scholarly sources. Never has my <3 sped up due to feelings of pulsing pleasure whilst trying to come up with a brilliant intro sentence. Never have I been so gratified at the prospect of having an 8-page academic paper due in less than 48 hours!

Sun February 6, 2011, 10:43 pm: Zam-zam water should be called yum-yum water. #everythingislamicisjusttastier

march 2011:
Wed March 30, 2011, 10:15 pm: Determined to get employed for the FIRST TIME EVER this summer. Send cool internships/job postings/initiatives my way, dear comrades. I'm so hipster and alternative by avoiding having to work in minimum wage retail/the food industry, etc. I mean, like, exploitation and under-compensation of young workers' labour is sooo 2009.

Mon March 28, 2011, 2:12 pm: MeaningfulMondayMusterings: “The act of writing is an act of optimism. You would not take the trouble to do it if you felt that it didn’t matter.” --Edward Albee

Sat March 26, 2011, 2:08 pm: Fobs on twitter. Fobs @mentioning you on twitter with 'hi's and 'ho are u???'s. Problem. Big problem. Problem will escalate if fobs on twitter will evolve to '#marraigeplease' tweets.

Wed March 23, 2011, 11:40 pm: Last year my textbooks were "Hebden Chemistry 12" and "Early Transcendentals in Calculus". This year, they're "Facebook" and "Twitter". Le sigh, being a new media student sure means sporting heavy backpacks.

Sun March 20, 2011, 5:01 pm: :) “The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) once said, ’The wise man allows himself to be dominated by a woman…'” -The Masnavi I, by Rumi

Fri March 11, 2011, 12:10 am: Akgjkfgjkfhhh! I HATE.HATE.HATE. my 'B+-on-papers' curse! This is why I adore standardized testing.} Standardized tests: helping people like me get A's (when papers don't allow one to do so) since 1997.

Tue March 8, 2011, 12:57 am: Who is familiar with even a bit of Freud's psychoanalytic theory and the characters of Harry Potter? HOLD UP; I WILL PROCEED TO BLOW YOUR MIND: Hermione = superego. Ron = id. Harry = ego. YUP.

Sun March 6, 2011, 4:28 pm: IS GOING TO TIME TRAVEL, BACK INTO THE PAST. #flyingbacktoVan #timezones

Sat March 5, 2011, 12:21 am: Just a hypothetical ;) introspection: hailing a ride in downtown Toronto at midnight made me feel like I'm in a Leona Lewis music video.

Fri March 4, 2011, 12:02 am: It's great to have a place TO-RUN-TO. That's why I'll be heading to Toronto (TO-RON-TO) tomorrow iA. Central Canada, woo this West-Coast-er!

Tue March 1, 2011, 9:38 pm: Facebook friends! Planning my life or whatever and I hand the responsibility over to YOU; help me choose 2 out of 5 of these potential majors: sociology, political science, anthropology, international relations and psychology. Comments/suggestions/opinions/insults greatly welcomed!

april 2011: Sun April 17, 2011, 12:11 am: WHY DO MY BABY BROTHER'S FARTS SMELL CUTE AND NOT FOUL?

Wed April 13, 2011, 12:28 am: Finally! Old white men are being represented at the federal level! #cdnpoli #elxn2011 #smh

Tue April 12, 2011, 4:40 pm: Ahhhh, so much to study but I can't--too much going on in the world! #niqabban #libya #japan #elxn2011 #cdnpoli #cutebabybrobeingcute

Sat April 9, 2011, 11:40 pm: Confessions of a Girl Who Hath Vehemently Addressed Her Dislike for Science: I <3 the social sciences. {currently patenting said phrase to be emblazoned on t-shirts and sold worldwide}

Thu April 7, 2011, 11:26 pm: Whenever I see a sign that says 'Transit Rules', I think to myself, 'No, it does not.'

Wed April 6, 2011, 7:00 pm: HOLD UP YALL-I'mma get RADICAL:I will miss my My 1st Year of University classes. No mo' psych w/ Dr.Rawn a.k.a. BestProfEver! No mo learning bout the theoretical underpinnings of journalism till/if I go to j-school+no mo connecting w/ my TA over Twitter! No mo of Billy's jovial Irish accent in socio! No mo verbal diarrhea+subtly sexual jokes from my Creative Writing prof! No mo access to the V.I.P. Gateway room. Omg.

Sat April 2, 2011, 11:22 pm: "50% of the Muslim world-that's over 600 million people-has lived under the democratically elected rule of a Muslim woman." --Shahed Amanullah

Fri April 1, 2011, 1:54 pm: After careful deliberation and meticulously assessing various pros and cons, I've decided to make the switch to the...Sciences! I'M REVERTING.

Yeah, facebook has a record of all the climaxes in my life. Does this bother you? 
xoxo, Urooba


Misha said...

Haha loved the 'educated fisherman' quote! UofT has those "Good friends don't let friend's go to York" shirts as well, they're always funny.

Btw, are you in journalism, or now switching to sciences?

Denise Bomfim said...

Salam, Urooba! Are you switching to sciences?
I had the opportunity to see the desert in Egypt, but I did not take the pics in Dhafra. Anyway,I have a dream to cross the desert on a camel..Insh´Allah!!!

I love sands, deserts, camels and the sun, and you?

Katie said...

this is great! my fbook statuses are never this good.

Beyond Timid said...

Haha, I never get the time to status that much. And I agree with Katie, they're good.